[Class Zero] In Black and White


Following Alice to wonderland, running after a sweet dawn dream or haunting a lost shadow.

The problem is always there, dwelling in my head. My greatest foes, living within my head. The good me, the wrong me. Both trying to claim victory, either ways I am victim.

It’s a challenge, living to please both. Being a slave to the winner… Desiring  the forbidden and praying for heaven.

Crying at night, lost in the light.

The puzzle is missing more pieces every time I do the wrong and even when I do the right!

Love me or love that me, I don’t know what to do!

A tiring game, that I no longer enjoy…

A silly game, turning me into just a toy…

I quit this path, but it’s not leaving me to be…

I ran away, but still its haunting me…

Reaching a point where doing the right and doing the wrong makes you feel nothing but guilty, roaming like a lost spirit not knowing what to look for.

Diagnosed with an alien illness called fighting for light, where I hold my sword trying to cut off the show and disappear.

Your local guide, to somewhere in Egypt! ^^


Shopping is very important in the land of Pharaohs, that's why in the new city of 6th of October "where I live most of the year" there's currently a clear Shopping Malls fever. You will find over 50 shopping mall squeezing the city! While many of them still Opening Soon, you will still find malls in all sizes, colors and tastes to satisfy your mood and style "and taste again". The brands you left home, the antiques and even the originality of the Pharaohs land are available everywhere! I'm pretty lucky!

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Alarm at night…


My clock beating in the darkness, begging for my attention.

Waking me from my daily stillness, stealing me from this night’s death

Bombing not my brain but a box full of memories

Cracking open a wound I thought gone for good Continue reading

[Poems to My Killer] Farewell Words.


Too proud, strong baby. I won’t kneel, I won’t bow.

I accepted the title, the heartless ice queen.

I was too weak but couldn’t show it.

Just to save my face, I smiled and gave them a heavenly look.

I smiled and poisoned their joy.

I laughed when they thought they won.

I watch from a distant, I hold on to my heart.

I have nothing else to fight for, no one left to hold on to.

I’m frozen inside, the answer is always stay strong.

To hell with all this strength, to hell with all your lies.

I just wanna close my eyes, and to my heart I will hold on and hide.

 

 

Pure Love


Pure that window that I looked upon the world through, pure as a diamond… Hard and so true.

Pure but a window is naught but a cage chaining me.

Until that moment where I broke that window broke my every limit just to be free.

I thought I will taste heaven, I thought I will drink of that beautiful glass pureness.

I opened my eyes to see the real cage, I saw who was being fooled and who was playing onstage.

And out of a hopeless moment, I took that shred of the glass I broke.

I looked upon myself in the reflection, I looked deep and in that moment I woke.

A tear fall in the ground from me.

A cut and a blood drop broke free.

And where they gathered in the ground there I found a tree.

Now I’m saved again. Hiding from life, letting it be.

[Class Zero]: Dear Mother


I’ve never seen someone so simple yet complicated like my mother.

Both of us so stubborn, both of us argue and listen to only our own voice.

My mum over 50 now wishes nothing but to marry-off her 3 kids (Me, my 19 years old sister and my 16 years old brother) in order that starts with me.

When we argue she wishes that I get married, in valentine she wishes that I get married, when it rains she wishes that I get married… When she’s happy or sad she still wishes that I would get married.

My mum’s wish in life is so simple, after many years from now, after even I leave this world when someone read this they will simply agree that it’s a simple wish and that I’m an ungrateful daughter ’cause I can’t give the mother who gave up her life to raise me and my siblings something that simple. Honestly, even I sometimes look at the whole situation that way too.

I never do anything to make my mum happy, I never will mostly; yet, I’m just astonished by how everything she wishes in life could be described with one word!

My mum is great mother and a great woman too, that’s not just my words framing her in a sweet motherly picture but everyone’s opinion when it comes to my mum. I wish I could write more about her and share some of our funny sweet and crazy moments but I’m keeping my great mum a secret so no one would try and steal her away from me.

The reason why I’m writing this is a question from a friend of mine got me pretty puzzled. He was wondering why my family which is having little money is happier despite all of our problems while his family -which is wealthy- seems okay but in fact broken?

The only reason I found was my parents, my father I always talk ’bout him he was and still the light in my heart and life and my mum the strong woman who would do anything for her kids just to keep them safe underneath her wings. Their love to us and to each other is the light in our lives and in our noisy warm house.