[Class Zero] In Black and White


Following Alice to wonderland, running after a sweet dawn dream or haunting a lost shadow.

The problem is always there, dwelling in my head. My greatest foes, living within my head. The good me, the wrong me. Both trying to claim victory, either ways I am victim.

It’s a challenge, living to please both. Being a slave to the winner… Desiring  the forbidden and praying for heaven.

Crying at night, lost in the light.

The puzzle is missing more pieces every time I do the wrong and even when I do the right!

Love me or love that me, I don’t know what to do!

A tiring game, that I no longer enjoy…

A silly game, turning me into just a toy…

I quit this path, but it’s not leaving me to be…

I ran away, but still its haunting me…

Reaching a point where doing the right and doing the wrong makes you feel nothing but guilty, roaming like a lost spirit not knowing what to look for.

Diagnosed with an alien illness called fighting for light, where I hold my sword trying to cut off the show and disappear.

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tHE mIRROR


I’m not a great writer but I love writing, its something that means freedom to my soul, myself and my mind. Its what make a better person of me in front of myself. Its what get my inside out. Its what my voice can’t say. Its what my heart cry for. Its my dream in my hands. That’s a part of what writing means to me. Once before my father died he told me behind every paper and every pen, every word and every book, their is a mind and a heart. When I cry when I smile when I’m happy when I’m sad when I’m thinking when I’m working I take my pen and write and write and write…. But once after my fathers death the world dissolved around me and suddenly everything changed to non-meaning to me even writing, I still write but all without a real me in it, without the heart and mind. And once again life give me a chance by giving me him to love, but it seems like I start loving my pain more than myself, instead of going forward I go back, until I reached the worst and I fall. I found myself in a bad mirror whatever I try to do to see myself in it, it turns to more ugly picture of me until it is black so you can’t see your self any more then you start feeling pain. And god, you can die of the pain without even knowing ……………………..> to be continued