Msh 3ayza Atgawez Means A Bad Girl (1)

Girl and broken window

Being a feminist is not all ’bout women rights and freedom, the one true drive behind feminism is respect.

Right now, the need for respect is building the revolution of women that will change the picture men of this era created of females.

As a middle eastern young woman, I first thought its just this area of the world that treat women with much disrespect. Nothing changed except knowing that even if women here are treated with much disrespect, in everywhere in the world women are being treated unfairly in almost every possible way.

But to be more accurate I will only mention the things I observed around me generally.

“Msh 3ayza Atgawez” my title which means literally I don’t want to get married is pretty much considered a forbidden line that turns a good woman to a ‘bad‘ one in front of this society, that considers a woman without a man either ‘bad’ or ‘insane’.

With bad here I meant like the same way western societies look at a man with many affairs as a ‘Playboy‘ but if its a woman it makes her a ‘Slut’.

This is how bad they consider a woman who refuses the whole idealistic marriage idea.

As a 20 something here its official that I should be in the market as a product available for marriage, I did not like that and I made a statement to make it clear Msh 3ayza Atgawez.

It was like waking a sleeping volcano in a very disturbing climate, things changed from normal colors to black and the worst when my mother said I looked like a whore when I said that.

The disagreement between us “me and my mum” is quite normal with every subject, but this time it really developed to a very dangerous point.

Suddenly I went from a normal daughter to a girl my mum can’t trust and need to monitor her every move, going out makes her feel like I will run away from that lovely squashing prison that I call home, any idea of developing in my career away from her firm grip on me and my life is obviously refused to the point that sometimes I feel like she will lock me home just to make sure I won’t even go to work.

The issue between me and my mum is not the real problem, its being itemized as ‘bad’ just ’cause I refuse to have a man in my life.

I’m a normal girl who date and go out, work and go shopping, independent compared to everyone in my age, hard working with a promising future, so now do I really need a man in my life??? My answer is no, my society would say yes BECAUSE its how its supposed to be.

I can’t live, dream or breathe until I marry someone and officially then I will be considered a human being, by then I would be considered someone’s wife and the society would say that he’s my priority now which would cancel living dreaming and breathing again.

So I either accept or turn into ‘bad’?

Another problem that I saw around is that many girls actually believe that they are nothing without a husband!!!

I can’t possibly think of that as normal even with everyone around giving me that look that says you re just a crazy bitch, I certainly can’t even understand the reasons behind believing in such a thing!!!… [To be continued]


Queen, The Beautiful Girl.

Sitting there in the street looking so tired & lost, she keeps waiting for everyone, maybe anyone to give her some of these shiny coins or one of these papers that we buy food with. She looks at the people passing by her everyday & wonders, why they are not happy??! You look at her & see a girl unlike girls in this world, smiling. Just smiling all the time, & it’s like she owns the world, she owns the world with her smile.

She has a world with her “almost” pare feet, old clothes, & dirty hair. The world changes, things come things go, things change, people change but she & her smile still and stay winning forever against all that. Such a unique charm that makes you follow it everywhere just to get some of the magic filling the air around her. We see her everyday but none of us ever thought or wondered, does she ever see us???.

The answer to that comes from the like a sun shinning eyes, & her hair that style itself to frame her face , her lovely face that captivate you once you take the moment to taste the sweetness hiding inside it, her old dress redesigned itself to make her look like a piece of art, and even her almost a shoes worth nothing but completing the picture.

I found that, she acts like blind, she never see but joy. She smile like she’s not here hearing us, she only hear beauty. And finally but not the end, she hardly talk, because she can say nothing but what tastes sweet to her innocent mind.

I asked the boy sitting there always next to her to tell me ’bout her name, he said “No one knows it but I can tell you that she’s Queen”.

He Never Talk… Silence Story

Sitting in front of each other, no one know what to say, not a single idea, a real weired silence that makes you wanna scream and scream.

She’s looking at him, monitoring every single move like he was the sun, or maybe her god. He’s not even aware of her golden eyes memorizing his perfect lying face, or maybe his soul is what she’s really looking for.

He’s wish someone was here, any one other than her, he doesn’t want to hurt her, he doesn’t want to lie, but he’s doing both. He didn’t stop soon enough and also he can’t love her even if she offered him the whole world love. He can’t understand that she’s a real woman and like any real woman she can smell the lie, but with love blinding her, she’s hopeless.

He had a quick glance at her from time to time, playing with her hair and biting in a lazy way on her lips, she’s so sweet, a dream come true for every real man ,and it’s not only ’bout how she looks like, he know so well how smart she can be if she didn’t hide it under her sweet smile, she never grow up with he childish beauty.

She’s trying to make him notice her, she can go down on her knees and beg, just to get that warm look he used to give her, she can do a lot, she can do something many and any, she can go to the end, just to get that warm look again. She love him, she love that she love him, she love her life when she love him, she love her love for him.

He’s far away and she know that, it’s not just this table separating them, it’s a whole world and she’s ready to love him with all of that too.


Something ‘Bout The FaceBook

Last night I watch The Social Network -Movie- I have to say its such an amazing one, you all have to watch it, any way that remind me of some people around talking ‘bout how they wish that FaceBook shutdown ‘cause its destroying there lives or addictive or something like that. What these people don’t know is that out there somewhere, some people have so life, nothing called social life, but also they have FaceBook, and having FaceBook is what keeping them alive seriously. So you re luck to have a social life and you think FaceBook is destroying it for you, let me help you with the answer SHUT YOUR FACEBOOK DOWN. I know the look in your face is priceless now, ‘cause your mind can’t stand the idea of leaving the social network you was wishing to shutdown, why?! its simple, FaceBook is a complete to our lives nowadays n without it you re missing the world around you. I’m not saying keep the FaceBook and throw your life out of the window, no I’m not saying that, I’m just trying to tell you, FaceBook is important as much as having a social life.


Psychiatrist Education

In our Middle East Culture the Psychiatrist is rejected!!!! I always wondered about problem in that?????

Lets take a better look, when you are under stress it can manifest itself in a wide variety of health and other issues, which often leads to even more stress, and as a result, even more health issues. Dr. Melanie Schlatter explain that in the middle east doctor’s web site.

Now for Mental disorder From Wikipedia

“A mental disorder or mental illness is a psychological or behavioral pattern generally associated with subjective distress or disability that occurs in an individual, and which are not a part of normal development or culture. The recognition and understanding of mental health conditions has changed over time and across cultures, and there are still variations in the definition, assessment, and classification of mental disorders, although standard guideline criteria are widely accepted. A few mental disorders are diagnosed based on the harm to others, regardless of the subject’s perception of distress. Over a third of people in most countries report meeting criteria for the major categories at some point in their lives…..”

It’s quit normal for our souls to need care too like our bodies, so give it a chance and look for a solution in a better way.


Dreaming Of A Dream

I don’t know exactly what to write I’m having a hard time, breaking up time. So I’m looking for my dreams which I left one day for someone that left me when I loved him the most. Any way I dreamt of a world that’s no like another world I dreamt of a new me that people love and respect like a true person for what I am I dreamt of a smile that I put on people’s faces when they re sad. I’d many dreams but they all mean nothing in this world so I stopped dreaming and now I’ll start living. I so lost in a world like a maze so even if you don’t think you re lost you’ll. What have you dreamt?? What have you give up??? What do you really want???