New Daughters


Knowing that spending more time writing and updating should be my one and only priority, I apologize for my always delayed updates and I’ll work hard to fix that.

Now I wanted to officially introduce my lovely daughters;

Blog: Ask Me in Arabic which went online last year and I’m looking for some help and building a team right now to keep it running.

Blog: More Than Men; in My Life which is a short stories collection of love, relationship, spirituality and life. It’s still in prograss and I hope you will like them.

I won’t take much of your precious times to talk ’bout my daughters but wait for them please. ^^

Advertisements

[Class Zero] I can’t wait to try! #001


Normally like everyone else, I make plans for the new year and I like telling myself I should follow them and that I must do great and better in the next year.

And normally, I fail every year in most of the points I list.

Yet, to my surprise it happens that I gain something instead of the ones I failed to achieve and honestly its really even better ’cause its unexpected.

I get out of every year with more experiences, more ideas, more confidence that I can keep moving forward and do something good with my life.

That’s great.

But this year I’m not going to wait around and enjoy failing without a good fight. Continue reading

[My] Tolstoy’s Revolution


The one line that kept me thinking while I was sick lately was Tolstoy‘s first line of Anna Karenina, I spent my days in bed thinking of that line again and again.

All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

I don’t need to tell how that one line proved over a century ago how smart and witty and simply stunning Tolstoy was, you will need to read one of his beautiful works to understand there’s no other way.

Back to one of the most beautiful beginnings in literature, that line happens to catch a picture of my life [and by saying my life I meant life around me not exactly myself] not just now but my whole life.

For it’s not just me but also everyone in my life face that struggle of/to happiness in a way or another, the only difference is where were you standing or the point you reached with that struggling.

Then that line clouded my mind and I just thought there must be some reason for that, and I started a jealousy fight with Tolstoy’s genius to feed my troubled mind.

Being happy for everyone/all families is being content, that cancels the strive to do things and the need for more so it’s a full stop. That I came to understand from Tolstoy, also the being content is just a bag and everything inside reasons happiness; so to be happy you need to content.

Being unhappy, though it might be in many ways it’s the ultimate result of being not content in some way.

If I thought of it in this way -the way I understood Tolstoy-, I find myself comparing what is supposed to be accepted plainly and what’s wanted or needed.

Living in a Middle Eastern society, you are supposed to accept things as they are or as you are told and that is how you are supposed to be happy. In fact even if I hate politics and avoid talking of it, that is why a whole older generation was against youth in the revolutions in the Arab Spring for simply happiness for them is a full stop and just accepting things as they are even if it’s not normal or fair.

Back to my mind’s fight between content and not content.

Tolstoy, if he believed that happiness or simply “being content” is just everything wouldn’t he simply write a novel and a master piece of pure happiness accepting things as they are and putting the full stop all just in his unique way?!!

Levin’s* complicated portray of Tolstoy made it clear how unbalanced and lost Tolstoy was, he was not content and unhappy and did have and I quote (some religious crisis while writing Anna Karenina) even Levin went through it too.

That man wrote Anna Karenina, and turned a society upside down.

No, his unhappy not content self did that.

The struggle within him did that.

The beautiful out-of-control need did that.

And my mind was finally letting go of jealousy, while looking at my book and reading the name Leo Tolstoy I smiled knowing we share something.

*Constantine Dmitrich Levin is a self portray and a character in Tolstoy’s book Anna Karenina which these thoughts are inspired of.

I’m a Tolstoy fan girl and I need to apologize for his other fans if they came here by chance and did not like what they read, this is a piece of work for just myself joy and pleasure.